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Giving Advice: Do You Pass the Bucket Test?
Giving advice isn’t always about telling. Sometimes advice is asking probing questions!
Being the typical male, I like to “fix” things. I have solutions for everything! Just ask me!
After being married for a while, I would listen as my wife told her about her day and her troubles. I couldn’t wait to tell her my solution.
That’s when I learnt a valuable life lesson.
In exasperation one day, my wife blurted: “I don’t want a solution, I just want you to listen!”
Noted!
And so, I listened. Or tried to. I had this great solution I needed to get out. See? Typical male!
But I sat on my hands, thought of questions to probe deeper, and get her to think through her issue.
Then we struck gold!
“Ok, that makes sense!”, she said.
“What made sense?” I said. (“I still have this great solution I need to tell you about”, I thought.)
“Well, if I ...” and she talked through what she would do. Problem solved. “Thanks.” she finished with, “That helped a lot.”
“No problem,” I said, a little confused!
