This ONE thing will create the momentum you’re looking for!
There’s not much I’m black and white about but today’s topic comes pretty close.
It’s time to think different!
Everything starts as a thought, or perhaps, a thought about something, an event maybe. How we think about it, how we react and respond to it shapes our future. In small ways perhaps, but, nevertheless true.
We will respond or react and reflect on our response or reaction. We’ll either talk to ourselves in good ways or bad ways, praising ourself or castigating. We’ll be destructive or constructive. Progressing or regressing.
The best part? We get to choose. Any time we want.
We’ve all heard the phrase “Fake it till you make it”.
It’s unhelpful!
It’s a common term used to help us get through a period where we feel like we’re not sure we’re up to the task, we’re learning something new or we want to be something we perceive we are not (yet).
It’s that deep in the gut, “grind it out until you get there” phrase we use until, well, until we make it.
But it reinforces a negative aspect of ourselves at the exact same time we are striving to do something good, something better and something to improve ourselves. But we tell ourselves we are faking it. Which is quickly interpreted as … we are fake.
We are our own worst enemy! 🤬
Imposter syndrome is a term we hear more and more.
Michael J. Fox was convinced, early in his career, that someone would realise he couldn’t act, and would expose him.
Do you feel like that? Sometimes? I do.
“Faking it” paints a picture of failure … we’re not up to the mark.
It prevents us from trying. Which turns into a self fulfilling prophecy.
It makes us blind to the successes we have achieved. Many of our successes are internal. No-one else will know, but if our only audience, us, is constantly reinforcing that we are fake, how are we to progress?
Through the process of progress we change, the world changes and circumstances change. As we progress towards our goal, there is a good chance the world moves on and, as we grow, we move on. So we are at risk of continually faking it.
How is that helpful?
Someone has said, “It’s all made up.” So, we’re all faking it if we look at it that way.
An Alternative
There is an alternative though, which, when committed to, creates a quantum leap towards our goals.
And that is “acting as if …”.
Imagine you want to be a champion high jumper, weird analogy I know, but hang in there.
I could fake being a champion high jumper or I could act like one.
So what does a champion high jumper do?
Frankly, I have no idea. But I can guess a couple:
1. They train hard
2. They work on their nutrition
I could easily get that information and start acting as if I was a champion high jumper in those two areas. It’s a start and I wouldn’t be faking it.
This is a bit like creating a Medium channel that generates income. I could fake it till I make it. In this case, making it might be 100 subscribers. But what then? Isn’t that just the start?
But what if I act like a successul Medium writer? What does that look like?
I can define that. I can list the activities of other successful Medium writers. I can be really clear about when I am not acting like a successful writer, because I know what a successful writer does.
And I can do that.
Neil Gaiman, in his inspirational Commencement Speech at the University of the Arts 2012, talks about being wise and pretending to be wise.
He says, “And if you can’t be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and just do what they do…”
“Act as if” … you are wise.
We all know people who have attributes we like. We can see what they do and we can act like them. We don’t need to be them. But we can take on the attribute and assimilate it.
It takes practice. Doesn’t anything worthwhile? And if you do slip up, as we will, all you do is recognise it, state it and then add, “Next time I’ll …” and describe the thing you’ll do next time.
If you want to be a calm person and you know what triggers you, think of someone who is calm and figure out what they do … and do that.
And then, if you get triggered, simply think about what you can do next time to act as a calm person.
The language of “fake it till you make” it is unhelpful. It highlights what we don’t want — being a fake.
And we do have an alternative which is far more helpful and constructive when talking to ourselves about what we want.
“Acting as if you are the thing you want” helps you move forward towards your goal, it infers actions to take and a mindset to adopt.
In most cases, we know what we need to do. We’re not faking it, we’re doing it, however clumsily.
As you learn and grow, you’ll act like someone who learns and grows from their experience. You also begin to see the things to act on as they become apparent.
Over to you
What goal do you have? How do you need to act to progress toward your goal? What steps are apparent for you to adopt? Do those and you are on your way. You are not faking it, you are doing it. You are succeeding.
Just … keep … going.
If this is helpful, I’d love it if you hit the like button, subscribe if you haven’t and maybe share it with someone who might benefit from it.
Now, I’m off to act like a world class barista and a make a coffee!
Get Involved
Talk to me in the comments. Have you had massive success from the “fake it till you make it” mantra? We’re all different and motivated differently, don’t be shy! I would love to hear your experiences.
And with that, I wish you a perfect day!
And if your day isn’t perfect … act as if it is. 😉
